Author Topic: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)  (Read 3604 times)

zwiggelbig

  • Donator
  • Thanks: 10
Hey all!

My website is done and I'm hoping that a dutcher could give me some feedback on the text.
I'm going to work together with a girl who plays for clown and she will help me give juggling workshops on childernparty's because she has experience with it with her clowns work. But she aint a good juggler thought.. But I think its nice if I have some help on it. And do diaboloworkshops on schools alone or something.

www.diaboloworkshops.nl

Tell me what you think and what I should change =)

finesse

  • Thanks: 5
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2010, 06:38:46 pm »
The website is good, layout is awesome, and i cant come up with something wrong about it.
But could you make it in english too, if its not too work?
The site would be more international then, and more people, like me, would understand what was written.
Great work.

zwiggelbig

  • Donator
  • Thanks: 10
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2010, 07:32:53 pm »
The website is good, layout is awesome, and i cant come up with something wrong about it.
But could you make it in english too, if its not too work?
The site would be more international then, and more people, like me, would understand what was written.
Great work.

Thanks m8! All credits go to the designer  :-D

I'll translate some text tommorow!

finesse

  • Thanks: 5
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2010, 07:35:55 pm »
After my translating skills (which i dont have) i got a feeling this page is gonna be awesome.
So im looking forward to it.

Arthur

  • Thanks: 18
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2010, 09:06:10 pm »
It's looking great! The language use is ok. Some weird word combinations, making it sound a bit weird. But I don't think that will scare off customers.

Indy

  • Thanks: 6
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2010, 08:40:50 am »
Hey Ramon,

The website looks nice.
But I would suggest to changes some of the text.

At the page 'Workshops' the word 'dingen' is used to much.
Try to make it much  more specific.
Use words that can replace 'dingen', because 'dingen' is a word that's not really professional to use.
 
epicness commits

zwiggelbig

  • Donator
  • Thanks: 10
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2010, 12:46:38 pm »
Hey Ramon,

The website looks nice.
But I would suggest to changes some of the text.

At the page 'Workshops' the word 'dingen' is used to much.
Try to make it much  more specific.
Use words that can replace 'dingen', because 'dingen' is a word that's not really professional to use.

Thanks will do tonight!

And just a quetion: Should I add prices on the site or keep it prices on demand?

Marko

  • VotW Contributor
  • Thanks: 79
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2010, 03:06:53 pm »
Good start with the page you've got there. Can't understand any dutch so i won't be correcting any of that.
What i would like to see there would be more pictures. Pictures give more professional outlook for your webpages + we people get to see who they are hiring to teach. If you're going for big don't forget to provide massive sized pictures for press. I didn't have pictures for press but now that i have them people have used them so much more.

www.taikurimarko.net <- here's my page. Not the best one and some of pictures are getting quite old. But that's the page that gives me work constantly.

Remember to provide CV information on you as well. Also on my page videos have been the ones people tell me that they are watching. So have plenty of those. Also i don't include the prices on webpages. It gives me so room to work out a right price for everybody.
«Diabolo, whiter than the whitest!»

Sean

  • Administrator
  • Thanks: 241
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2010, 04:23:06 pm »
Also on my page videos have been the ones people tell me that they are watching.
Google Analytics. Google Analytics. Google Analytics.

It's awesome if you really want to know how people are navigating your site. Start it now. It takes a while for the data to build up.

Niels.k

  • Thanks: 0
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2010, 07:41:22 pm »
I found two mistakes in two sentences in the part 'workshops'

"Aan het einde van de workshop kunnen we nog een
 wedstrijdje met betrekking tot de diabolo doen gevolgd door door een hele gave demonstratie!"
 
I would take this part out 'betrekking tot' ; the other mistake you can see...


"We lopen dan met z’n tweeën rond om de kinderen zoveel mogeijk te begeleiden."... must be: mogelijk

Indy

  • Thanks: 6
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2010, 09:06:07 pm »
Thanks will do tonight!

And just a question: Should I add prices on the site or keep it prices on demand?

If you want your workshops to be available for a wide variation of people/organisations I would leave the prices off the site.
I haven't got any prices either. This way you can decide the price yourself, depending on the situations.
epicness commits

Marijn

  • VotW Contributor
  • Thanks: 38
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2010, 10:44:17 pm »
''Of heeft u intresse in een leuke diabolo demonstratie?''
--> interesse

''Laura en Ramon kunnen u verschillende workshops bieden met betrekking tot jongleren.''
--> wellicht is aanbieden mooier/beter. Je zegt denk ik eerder dat je een workshop aanbiedt dan dat je een workshop biedt. (Ja meneer, ik wil graag een workshop bieden voor uw Porsche op marktplaats.nl.... you get the idea).

''Afgaande van de kinderen hun leeftijd zullen ze verschillende dingen gaan leren.''
--> Afgaande op de leeftijd van de kinderen.

''Aan het einde van de workshop kunnen we nog een wedstrijdje met betrekking tot de diabolo doen, gevolgd door door een hele gave demonstratie!''

''Dit is echt een hele leuke invulling voor uw evenement.''
--> Komt een beetje over als een wanhopige aansporing.

''Ook is er de mogelijk dat er jongleer demonstraties worden gegeven!''
--> Als ik mij niet vergis wordt ''jongleerdemonstraties'' aan elkaar geschreven. Weet het echter niet zeker, check even in 't Groene Boekje ;)

Wellicht is het netjes om een bron te vermelden bij je informatie over de geschiedenis van de diabolo?!

''Dit is een engels talig forum met veel diabolisten over de hele wereld die hier samen komen. Hier zijn ook veel tutorials te vinden voor verscheidene trucjes.''
--> Engelstalig (met hoofdletter!)

Waarom staan er tutorials op je site uitgeschreven... het hele idee is toch dat jij het gaat leren aan mensen?!
''I have been practising some basic 2d suicide stuff to widen my arse''

zwiggelbig

  • Donator
  • Thanks: 10
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2010, 08:58:23 pm »
Thanks all!!! I have modified most of it!

Still changing some bits but most faults are out of it =)

Now I have to get that Google Analystics online.. And ty for that Sean!
And more pictures..

zwiggelbig

  • Donator
  • Thanks: 10
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2010, 09:11:45 am »
Question: Why can't my website be googled yet?

Wis

  • Moderator
  • Thanks: 114
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2010, 09:52:54 am »
Perhaps is because Google is working first over the cache memory loaded on different clusters around the world. Perhaps you need to wait until some people use it, and then it will appear in any caché memory.
"The string...the inertia...the hours"

Indy

  • Thanks: 6
Re: Website is done. Could a dutcher give some feedback on the text? =)
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2010, 12:22:43 pm »
Question: Why can't my website be googled yet?
source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_search
PageRank
Main article: PageRank

Google's algorithm uses a patented system called PageRank to help rank web pages that match a given search string.[8] The PageRank algorithm computes a recursive score for web pages, based on the weighted sum of the PageRanks of the pages linking to them. The PageRank derives from human-generated links, and is thought to correlate well with human concepts of importance. The exact percentage of the total of web pages that Google indexes is not known, as it is very hard to actually calculate. Previous keyword-based methods of ranking search results, used by many search engines that were once more popular than Google, would rank pages by how often the search terms occurred in the page, or how strongly associated the search terms were within each resulting page. In addition to PageRank, Google also uses other secret criteria for determining the ranking of pages on result lists, reported to be over 200 different indicators.

epicness commits